The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health by Rheeda Walker

Author:Rheeda Walker
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2020-05-01T05:00:00+00:00

Reclaim by Imagining Your Ancestors’ True Stories

If your family participates in family reunions, use those occasions to talk to older family members about what your family was like before you were born. Older family members are living history. What was life like for them growing up? What kinds of things did people do for one another that they miss in their neighborhood now? Are there any family stories that they hold?

Imagine you have an ancestor who lived so long ago that no one alive in your family can trace your roots to her. In Ghana, she was Ada, which means “first daughter.” Your ancestors were very intentional about naming traditions. Names had meaning often linked to the infant’s spirit, the situation surrounding the infant’s birth, or perhaps the day of the week. In West Africa, we had names that had meaning. Perhaps your parents gave you a name that would allow you to fit in, but you gave your daughter an African name that has meaning, like Nia or Asha.

In Ghana, your ancestral grandmother Ada lived in a community with her sisters and their children and families. Some of her sisters were actually cousins, but there was no language or distinction for “cousins.” They were sisters and brothers. Everyone looked out for one another. Individuals survived because they were part of a community that worked together. They got what was needed from the nearby land. They had chores and responsibilities, but no one was in a hurry when they spent time talking about the day or a struggle. Time wasn’t about the clock, but it was about being present for a neighbor and honoring and learning from the past. The distant future did not matter as much as the present. No place was more important than where they were. The importance of family, Ada’s protectiveness of her play-cousins who weren’t even blood relatives, and her strong connection to a Higher Power—these are part of your cultural heritage that was passed on.

Twenty-three-year-old Ada did not need to “escape” her home outside of Kumasi, Ghana. She was very happy and had everything that she needed. If you have ever visited the continent, you may have been surprised to see that people who have a fraction of the means that you have are very content. The children are happy and smiling. They know who they are, and they have what they need. They are anxious for nothing and have every confidence that God will provide. Those who would say that Ada was better off in the United States have fed you a lie: contemporary research shows that spending time in the United States, even now, is psychologically toxic for people of color.33

Ada managed to survive ten weeks in the bottom of a ship. Her two youngest children did not. Once she arrived in Charleston, she did her best to survive. She learned to communicate with other kidnapped Africans. Both her husband and her two older children were separated from her. She did not

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